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Dunkin’ Donuts Exec Just Thrilled Every Conservative Who’s Sick of Liberal Starbucks

The business of America is business, Calvin Coolidge once said. That’s sound advice, and from a man of few words.

But what’s the business of business? It seems like this should be an obvious tautology, but sometimes it feels a bit like political persuasion in the era of the latte.

Take Starbucks, the coffee chain so omnipresent that I believe they’re about to open their fourth outlet at McMurdo Station.

Starbucks has combined ubiquity; a middle-of-the-road menu that consists of either bad coffee, hot milk that’s kind of touched coffee or diabetes-inducing desserts in cups that take up at least 125 percent of your daily caloric content; and a branding strategy that includes more than a dollop of liberal politics.

Starbucks has let everyone know how it feels about abortion through donations to Planned Parenthood. Starbucks has put PP on notice regarding guns. It used designs on the side of their coffee cups to try to start a conversation about race and even got political regarding who could use the company’s bathrooms. (Pretty much anybody, no matter whether you were buying some joe or not.)

Now, if you’re a corporation that wants to have a political, social or religious identity, that’s your right. Lord knows Black Rifle Coffee Company has gotten enough free marketing off of its conservative bent.

However, Black Rifle is a small boutique coffee roaster — not one of the world’s biggest coffee chains. People generally don’t like a side of politics with their caffeine.

That’s something Dunkin’ Donuts apparently seems to grok.

“We are not Starbucks, we aren’t political,” Drayton Martin, Dunkin’ Brands VP of brand stewardship, said at the 2019 meeting of the International Trademark Association, according to a series of tweets. (Yahoo! Finance reports that the panel wasn’t recorded and that a transcript wasn’t available.)

“We don’t want to engage you in political conversation, we want to get you in and out of our store in seconds,” she added. “We don’t want people burning their Munchkin boxes.”

This likely wasn’t just a rogue executive, either. Consider the fact that Martin was on the panel with Dunkin’ Brands director of retail business development Chuck Kantner and director of legal counsel Alana Sharenow. If either contradicted Martin or attempted to yank her off of the panel with a cane as if a ghastly vaudeville act, record of it doesn’t exist.

It’s also worth noting that in her position with Dunkin’ Brands, Baskin-Robbins is part of Martin’s purview, as well. In other words, Ben & Jerry’s is another competitor. Just sayin’.

Martin’s remarks illustrate the ultimate paradox with the corporate desire to be both omnipresent and a sociopolitical actor: If you’re willing to alienate half of your audience, you’re going to have a competitor who’s willing to welcome those customers — along with people who agree with you as well.

I guarantee that Martin’s comments may ruffle some people who post 1,100-word screeds to Facebook about why Colin Kaepernick needs to be signed or else they’ll boycott a league they weren’t interested in anyway. That anger will go away, because Dunkin’ Donuts is going to go out of its way not to offend said rage-poster.

Dunkin’ will also not be going to go out of its way to offend conservatives, either, who are probably thrilled they can go somewhere and get coffee without giving money to a company that champions causes they loathe. Meanwhile, expect the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez collectible line of cups to be coming out of Starbucks any day now.

That’s why Calvin Coolidge would have been a Dunkin’ man. (And he was from Massachusetts anyway, where — by law — every third store must be a Dunkin’ Donuts.)

The business of business is business. Executives forget that truism at their own peril.

21 Comments

21 Comments

  1. Oscar V Pearson

    May 22, 2019 at 7:06 pm

    Starbucks is the most overpriced garbage on the market. Supporting communism every time you buy a cup of mud. Shame on Americans to blind to see what is going on.

    • P E Retenauer

      May 22, 2019 at 11:34 pm

      Oscar, are you suffering from a concussion?

      • CrustyOldGeezer

        May 23, 2019 at 1:42 am

        Naw, I think it’s more an issue of he isn’t brainwashed and stupid.

  2. Sandra McDonald

    May 22, 2019 at 7:22 pm

    I don’t go to that overpriced Starbuck’s anyway . I am like most Americans. I don’t need politics with everything I do. I get enough on social media. When I go for food, or coffee, or watch TV programs leave the politics out. So sick of all this.

  3. daren

    May 22, 2019 at 7:38 pm

    overpriced coffee that tastes burnt (to me) no thanks

  4. Delores

    May 22, 2019 at 7:41 pm

    I think I will rush out and buy a Dunkin’ Donuts cup of coffee! Coffee begins my mornings not politics.

  5. ESR

    May 22, 2019 at 8:14 pm

    I have not returned to Starbuck since they started politicizing and denigrating Christians, the military and our police. Dunkin Donuts has better tasting coffee, less expensive and you do not have to wait 15-20 minutes to get your cup of JAVA!!!

  6. BA

    May 22, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    STARFUCKS SUCKS…I DO NOT GO THERE FOR ANY REASON….THEIR CEO HAS A LITTLE BOYFRIEND TUCKED AWAY SOMEPLACE THEY HIRE MOSLEMS WHO WIPE THEIR AZZES WITH THEIR HANDS AND THEN HANDLE YOUR FOOD AND DRINKS….NOT FOR ME…”F” STARFUCKS…

    • P E Retenauer

      May 22, 2019 at 11:37 pm

      BA…let me guess…Big Asshole? You racist bigoted Trump supporter. Go light your tiki torch, you maggot coward.

      • Divinggets

        May 23, 2019 at 12:45 am

        You could very easily be talking about yourself. The “racist bigoted Trump supporter” childishness is a dead give away.

        • P Retenauer

          May 23, 2019 at 1:54 am

          Divinggets…I’m accurate and you can’t handle it.

          • Brian

            May 25, 2019 at 10:27 pm

            Accurate about what? Saying that BA is a maggot, a coward, a racist asshole and a bigot? Please allow me to demonstrate, for you, the different kinds of discussions. The preferred method is known as a debate. During a debate, the two sides of the discussion will present facts and examples to convince listeners that their reasoning is correct. The other method, the one that children are prone to use, is the ‘shouting down’ technique. You may have noticed that when you discuss something with someone who is immature, they will continue to scream their {unchanged} argument over and over. Each time they scream it, the volume gets louder in an attempt to ‘shout you down’. One of the most famous quotes of Socrates says, “When the debate is lost; slander becomes the tool of the loser”. What that means, is that people who don’t have an intelligent argument to back up their position, will resort to calling their opponent names like maggot, coward, asshole, racist [<<< This one is a favorite of the clueless left] or bigot. BA made the argument that Muslims wipe their asses with their hands, and then use those same hands to make your food/coffee. Your response, of course, was to call him a racist… among other things. You didn't provide any kind of evidence to refute his argument; most likely because you don't have any facts or evidence to refute it. I think the fact that you think Muslim is a race, pretty much tells everyone that you don't know anything about Muslims. It's not a race, it's a political ideology. BA stated a fact. You couldn't accept the reality of that fact, so you resorted to slander… which we all know is the desperate tool of the man who has lost the debate.

  7. Diana

    May 22, 2019 at 10:48 pm

    Thats the only coffee we drink strarbucks is terrible coffee agree it is burnt very nasty stuff

  8. Arlene

    May 22, 2019 at 11:17 pm

    I have tried starbucks and just can’t stand it.. Give me DD’s coffee anytime over starbucks. Can’t take the coffee, the workers, or the political crap from this low-standard company. LOVE MY DD, love the coffee, the workers and the atmosphere..

    • P E Retenauer

      May 22, 2019 at 11:31 pm

      Arlene, grow up!

      • Brian

        May 25, 2019 at 10:36 pm

        Again we find PE attempting to slander someone, because he doesn’t have an intelligent argument to refute what Arlene has said. I think you just like to see your name posted on Internet pages PE; because you never say anything that intelligent people would ponder and think, ‘PE might have a point there’. All you do is run around like a 5 yr old calling people stinky doo doo heads. Find a point of view, and espouse on it, PE… you’re not doing yourself any favors by acting the way you are.

  9. P. E. Retenaur

    May 22, 2019 at 11:27 pm

    Starbucks and Dunkin are both fine places. You can’t assign political affiliations to businesses. The people on here who are throwing shots at these stores are goofy. Republicans are whiners, name callers and fear mongers. I can’t figure out why Republicans want to run everyone’s life. They should mind their own business. Republicans claim to be pro-life, but they believe in the death penalty. They’re just idiots!

    • Diane

      May 23, 2019 at 12:42 am

      Projection at its finest.

      • P E Retenaur

        May 23, 2019 at 1:49 am

        Diane…up your giggie with a wah-wah brush.

    • CrustyOldGeezer

      May 23, 2019 at 1:47 am

      Odd that you should think that way.

      The left is DEMANDING SOCIALISM for America so they can treat YOU exactly like Venezuela is treating its own DISARMED CITIZENS.

      Yer gonna look so precious with nothing but the soles of your tennyrunners visible while you go dumpster diving for scraps of food.

    • Brian

      May 25, 2019 at 10:45 pm

      “Republicans are whiners, name callers and fear mongers” – P.E. Retenaur. “They’re just idiots” – ALSO P.E. Retenaur. “BA…let me guess…Big Asshole? You racist bigoted Trump supporter. Go light your tiki torch, you maggot coward.” – annnnnd once again… P.E. Retenaur. Are you trying to convince people that you’re a Republican, P.E.? Or are you just demonstrating what a hypocrite is?

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