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‘Real’ Witches Say They’re Offended That President Trump Keeps Calling the Mueller Investigation A ‘Witch Hunt’

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“Real” witches told the Daily Beast Monday that they’re sick and tired of President Donald Trump referring to Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s inquiry into whether the Trump campaign colluded with Russian officials to impact the outcome of the 2016 presidential election as a “witch hunt.”

In fact, the witches told the Daily Beast, the implication is downright offensive.

“Many are mad, and the rest are rolling their eyes,” said David Salisbury, apparently “a lead organizer at Washington-based witch community Firefly House,” according to the Beast.

The witches say they are primarily concerned with Trump’s rhetoric because it references one of the darkest periods in witch history, when “witches” in Europe and America were investigated, sought out for crimes against their communities, and often executed. That dark era, the witches say, has left a “traumatic emotional imprint,” on today’s witches.

When Donald Trump references “witch hunts,” he triggers them all over again.

“To have him compare his situation to the worst period in our history is just infuriating,” one witch told the Daily Beast.

Trump, of course, has regularly used the term “witch hunt” as a pejorative against Mueller and his team, beginning back in May of 2017, when Mueller’s investigation first kicked off. Since then, the president has often referred to the Mueller investigation on social media using the term.

Others have followed the president’s lead. The Republican National Committee uses the term “witch hunt” in fundraising pitches and email address collection surveys, and Trump administration allies frequently refer to the Mueller investigation as a “witch hunt” inspired by, but not prompted by, the president.

This has all made witches very angry, particularly, they say, because they seem themselves as an oppressed minority, suffering in solidarity with the other minorities Trump has oppressed as president (though they were loathe to provide any examples as to how the Trump administration has explicitly cracked down on the witch community).

““It is particularly horrifying because many modern practitioners of witchcraft devote their lives to seeking compassion and justice,” Salisbury told media.

Other witches were concerned that Trump doesn’t understand what a real “witch hunt” entails.

“If Mueller’s investigation were truly a ‘witch hunt,’ then Donald Trump would be hanging naked from chains in a cold barn somewhere, being tortured into admitting his pact with Satan, before being burned at the stake,” one witch said. “Instead he’s golfing at Mar-a-Lago.”

The witches in question told the Daily Beast that they don’t feel it necessarily to fight back against this particularly slight, but they haven’t remained silent on the subject of the Trump administration as a whole. Witches have gathered several times since Trump’s inauguration to cast group hexes on the president and his close allies. Most recently, a group of witches in New York placed a “hex” on then-Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

The hex, which was meant to prevent Kavanaugh from being confirmed to the high court, apparently didn’t work, but the witches raised some funds from attendees, who were encouraged to leave donations. They ended up giving the money they raised to — where else? — Planned Parenthood.

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6 Comments
  • MAR says:

    IM NOT EVEN WASTING MY TIME READING THIS ARTICLE, MY ONLY COMMENT IS I DON’T BELIEVE THAT REAL WITCHES ARE OFFENDED BY THIS BULLSHIT. REAL WITCHES ARE TOO BUSY DOING OTHER THINGS THAT MATTER RATHER THAN GET INVOLVED IN THIS STUPIDITY. MAYBE I’M WRONG, BUT NO WICCAN OR ANY OTHER OCCULT PERSON I’VE EVER MET IS ON THE BANDWAGON FOR BEING BUTT HURT AT EVERY TURN.

  • Larry says:

    OMG witches are offended. They could try casting a spell on him, but someone much more powerful put the President in office and is protecting him. They are worshiping a second rate god.

  • Larry Gaines says:

    Being a Witch is in a idiots mind. No such thing as a witch

  • Gary says:

    Get over it…go get counseling or buy more crayons and coloring books

  • Judith Davis says:

    I don’t think there are real witches

  • Hillbilly says:

    How are w(b)itches traumatized by something that happened to OTHER women 300 yrs ago? Obviously their ‘hex’ didn’t work on Kavenough

  • RWF
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